Perfection

In today's world, it's easy to get wrapped up in flaws and short-comings.  There is a huge selection of "self-help" books based on the premise that you should do better.  Diet industries point out our physical size and proportions.  Tutoring and test-preparation services point out our intellectual needs.  Seminars, retreats, and meetings exist to help us overcome our flaws. 

At the same time, we are shown by marketers an ever increasingly false depiction of humans.  Airbrushing, Photoshopping, extensive makeup, multiple "handlers" and specialized clothing (support garments, for one) give the impression of perfection when trying to sell us products.  The message is that "Perfect people buy this.  You can be one step closer to perfect if you do, too."  We are pressured to be our best and recognize all our faults- that's how producers make money.  Many entrepreneurs are billionaires because they could recognize a way to make money off of insecurity. 

Contrast this with the message of "Love is blind."  I'm not going to go into the religious aspects of it, because I think the phrase itself has come to mean something far bigger than just its spiritual ties.  I'm also not entirely sure that I agree with the statement.  I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments, but not the exact words.  Love between humans does see flaws, but loves them as part of you, or wants to help you overcome them, not that humans delude ourselves into thinking our beloved is faultless.  Real, true, deep love is about the person, and flaws are a part of people.  To love while not seeing flaws is to worship blindly, and in human relationships, that isn't a healthy thing.  That leads to some pretty big disappointments.  Love means loving the person, faults and all.

All that being said, I think everyone deserves one person in their life who equates them with perfection.  One person that idolizes you and worships you.  That person may come into your life and leave, or they may eventually come to love you as they discover the flaws, but to have that feeling that you have no flaws, you have no short-comings- that is something that everyone deserves at some point.  We all also deserve to learn from the pain that comes when we're found out to be mortals.  We only grow by challenging ourselves to do better and over coming obstacles.

Who is your perfect person, who idolized you, and how did those situations resolve?  For me, my father was my perfect person; I learned of his mortality through lyposarcoma. 

Valentine's Day

Valentine's day is an odd holiday, if you think about it.  It's origin is the Catholic celebration of Saint Valentine on February 14- supposedly the day St. Valentine was beaten nearly to death and then beheaded.  Somehow, I have yet to see anything to this effect on a Hallmark card.  Maybe "I love you so much I'd die in excruciating pain for you" is a little passe in an age of quickie marriages and quickie divorces?  Other great remembrances for today include the Valentine's Day Massacre, where seven men- most from the North Side Gang- were killed by Al Capone's gang or associates.  Again, no chocolate covered bullets have I found at Malley's or Deitsch Brothers.  To be fair, the predominant color of Valentine's Day is red, the color of blood, so at least that makes some sense.

In reality, the non-sequiturs of the holiday that I've described above work out well for a day celebrating love; let's face it, love is filled with non-sequiturs and a lack of logic.  The prevalence of murders on this day to buy candy and roses also falls into place nicely with love.  Murder is a huge flaw on human history, at least in my opinion, and love is filled with flaws.  Flaws in reasoning, flaws in people, flaws in relationships.  Humans are kind of one big bag of flaws, and yet for some reason we love. 

I'm writing all this as I think about my love, the big D-train.  For almost 10 years now (nine of them as husband and wife) we've put up with each others flaws, insanity and idiosyncrasies and yet we both continue to live.  Maybe because of it?  For whatever reason, we're still together, we're still alive, and we're still in love, with the addition of Ken, his flaws, insanity and idiosyncrasies.  I think that's pretty cool.  It says a lot about love and what kind of havoc it can wrack on your sensibilities.  Eh, sensibilities are over-rated anyway. 

So yes, Dwight, you came home yesterday with candy, a card, and beautiful sentiments of love, and all you get in return is this crappy blog post dedicated to you.  Which you probably won't even read.  I love you, honey!  And spreading that love to all the rest of the inter-webs.  Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

A few other thoughts on love can be found courtesy of Dan at Molecular Fossils.  I love the cartoon he found, thanks, Dan.