Thursday, June 20, 2013

My Body, My Self

This evening our little family went out for an early weekend dinner and decided to try Fresco, a new local place in Kent notable for their salsa bar.  The food was fantastic, the had good beer, my day's classes had gone well, I had new replica jaws to play with, Kenny and I picked lots of strawberries, and I'd been up to a round of "Secret Santa" around town.  I'm sure I could have been in a better mood, but I'm not sure how I would have gotten there.  We were sitting waiting at our table for our food when it happened.  There were hands at my side and a face on my shoulder, and it was not my friend the newly minted Dr. Sohom- one of the few people that I allow to creeper-hug me without a fight. 

Dear Fellow Fresco Patron-

What made you think that you could come that close up behind a stranger in a restaurant with her family?  Why did you think that it was OK to rearrange my clothing to cover a tattoo on my back?  What part of my appearance gave you any indication that I wanted to hide my tattoos or was embarrassed by them?  Why on Earth were you surprised at my reaction, which was merely an expletive directed at you and not a fist heading towards you?  Would you ever even consider doing this if I had been a man?  Do you have any idea of the moment of sheer terror I feel at a stranger's (and some not-strangers') touch?  Have you thought about how your feeling of entitlement to my body fits into the larger social picture.  Have you ever considered that not all people enjoy physical contact, and in fact some people are positively averse to it?  Have you ever thought that maybe their aversion to touch has something to do with a feeling of lack of autonomy, often thanks to people like you?  What makes you think that it's appropriate to slut-shame random women in front of their children?  Do you really have this little respect for your fellow humans? 

Do us all a favor and can the moralizing and misogyny, alright. 

Gah.  Invasion of personal space and body shaming are not things that I enjoy or take lightly, and nor should any sane person.  How is this crap even considered OK today?!

No comments:

Post a Comment