Answers

A family member recently expressed concern about answers- mostly dismay at those who act like they have all the answers.  This is a family member that very vocally proclaims that Christianity is the correct religion and that Jesus Christ is the only path to eternal salvation.  This is also a family member whom I love and admire, and one of the few on my mother's side that I've felt a real connection to ever since I was a child.  The woman I remember from my childhood was much more accepting, or maybe I was more naive; in either case, it has only been in my adulthood, and fairly recently at that, that she and I have discovered our distinct differences of opinion.  Needless to say, she and I have of late had a few words that were not necessarily heated, but not very warm either.  Her comment stung, because framed by discussions we had previously had and other circumstances, it felt like the comment was targeting me. 

I'll be the first to admit that I don't have all the answers.  If asked a question, I'll either tell you the answer (if I know it) or say I don't know.  I don't like pretending.  I like to find answers to questions that I don't yet know the answer.  I also know that many of the big questions may have answers that vary based on the person.  Given ethical, moral, or philosophical questions, two people with similar knowledge of the situation may very well come to drastically different conclusions based on individual histories and experiences.  And I'm OK with that.  I'm also OK with staunchly defending the answer at which I have arrived on those big questions when the answer is one that suits me and someone tries to sway me a different direction.  I have a right to my answer, provided it does not infringe on anyone else' rights, just like others have a right to their answers, again provided they don't infringe on another person's rights.  That's one answer that I don't think is open to interpretation- that individuals can disagree, and so long as no one is harmed or rights are abridged, the disagreement does not need to be changed.  These varying answers add spice and variety to life.  They make it more interesting.

So please, unless the question is a subjective one, let our answers differ and our lives go on.  Until someone is actually affected by the difference of opinion, there's no harm and no foul, but we've both been exposed to a different view point and had our horizons broadened.  I say this as much for my own benefit and reminder as for anyone else.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's day is an odd holiday, if you think about it.  It's origin is the Catholic celebration of Saint Valentine on February 14- supposedly the day St. Valentine was beaten nearly to death and then beheaded.  Somehow, I have yet to see anything to this effect on a Hallmark card.  Maybe "I love you so much I'd die in excruciating pain for you" is a little passe in an age of quickie marriages and quickie divorces?  Other great remembrances for today include the Valentine's Day Massacre, where seven men- most from the North Side Gang- were killed by Al Capone's gang or associates.  Again, no chocolate covered bullets have I found at Malley's or Deitsch Brothers.  To be fair, the predominant color of Valentine's Day is red, the color of blood, so at least that makes some sense.

In reality, the non-sequiturs of the holiday that I've described above work out well for a day celebrating love; let's face it, love is filled with non-sequiturs and a lack of logic.  The prevalence of murders on this day to buy candy and roses also falls into place nicely with love.  Murder is a huge flaw on human history, at least in my opinion, and love is filled with flaws.  Flaws in reasoning, flaws in people, flaws in relationships.  Humans are kind of one big bag of flaws, and yet for some reason we love. 

I'm writing all this as I think about my love, the big D-train.  For almost 10 years now (nine of them as husband and wife) we've put up with each others flaws, insanity and idiosyncrasies and yet we both continue to live.  Maybe because of it?  For whatever reason, we're still together, we're still alive, and we're still in love, with the addition of Ken, his flaws, insanity and idiosyncrasies.  I think that's pretty cool.  It says a lot about love and what kind of havoc it can wrack on your sensibilities.  Eh, sensibilities are over-rated anyway. 

So yes, Dwight, you came home yesterday with candy, a card, and beautiful sentiments of love, and all you get in return is this crappy blog post dedicated to you.  Which you probably won't even read.  I love you, honey!  And spreading that love to all the rest of the inter-webs.  Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

A few other thoughts on love can be found courtesy of Dan at Molecular Fossils.  I love the cartoon he found, thanks, Dan.