Monday, June 22, 2009

Ugh...

I'm sore. I hurt. I'm tired. But I'm almost caught up. Almost. What have I been doing? What could be more important than writing on here? Why do any of you care?

Well, the truth is, you probably don't. Your eyes will glaze over when I discuss my current project. It's the normal reaction. If anyone ever didn't have their eyes roll to the back of their heads when I started to talk about tadpole dietetics, the mystery of omnivory, amphibian mating and reproductive styles- I'd check for a pulse and then call the coroner. My life is banal. I'm one of about ten people in the US that have a clue what in h3ll I'm talking about when I start blathering about Typha phenolic compounds and developmental effects. I know that. I'm OK with it. I'm not a people person, so not making any sense to others is my modus operandi.

But sometimes, someone does understand me. Once in a while, some one gets what on Earth I'm trying to say. They might even recognize some rellevance in it. And today, I felt like that was the case. First thing in the morning, before breakfast even, I was checking my email (because I'm OCD like that) and found out that my first publication is going to be cited in a new Ohio Amphibians book being edited by a colleague. I use the term colleague loosely here- we both work on frogs, we both are involved with the frog call survey, we have attended some of the same conferences, but we live on opposite ends of the state. He probably wouldn't even recognize me in a crowd. But he'll know my name. He'll know my work.

And then my mind does a tail spin. He'll know it's crap work. He'll see some flaw I didn't notice. He'll laugh at my ignorance in my chosen field. He'll point out to others how wrong I am in my conclusions. And thus- "Ugh..." Why can't my brain just accept the good once in a while? Why must my brain find the negatives, real or potential. I didn't used to be like this. I don't think.

Ugh...

Pictures will come in due time, I swear.

7 comments:

  1. Hey Lisa, Congrats on that publication...and if they have agreed to publish your work, it must have met atleast some basic standards!

    Congrats...and do even better next time...Maybe you can do a kiss-the-toads project next time...just joking!

    And thanks for the comment on my blog post...yours was the simplest and the most matter-of-fact statement, shorn of any adjectives...a virtual hmpf!

    I am not saying that it was too good or too bad, I am saying it stood out.

    Good Luck!

    ICLW~

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  2. Huge congrats on getting your work cited in publication. That is HUGE in the academic world!

    Happy ICLW

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  3. Thanks for visiting my blog yesterday and agreeing that prepositions at the end of sentences are terrible things to put up with (smile). I think your brain works much like mine when the what-ifs start spinning. Infertility is really just a BIG LESSON that life doesn't owe us a darn thing. And that is sure to turn our brains into the negatives in all aspects of our lives.

    eve
    (infertilityrocks.wordpress.com)

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  4. Lisa I do understand what you are talking about! Very well done on getting cited!!! it's a very big thing, defintely your work was worth it or he wouldn't have picked you, you know that. So just enjoy the moment. Love, Fran

    *ICLW*

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  5. Lisa,
    I am so excited for you! =-) And while I practically never understand what you are talking about I enjoy your enthusiasm. lol And I love that you dumb it down in a nice way for all of us normals.

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  6. Melinda, most people never understand what I'm talking about. No speaky de Ingles here, I'm afraid. But I love that you (virtually) smile and nod and act like I make sense. And don't just keep repeating yourself in a louder and louder voice, like a tourist trying to communicate with the locals in a foreign country. THANK YOU!!!

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  7. Oh well, what do I have here...I went through the list and came to yours! LOL, and I saw the blooper I made...Your work got cited...THAT is the achievement.

    Singing the "Forgive my stupidity" song...


    ICLW

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